What Age Does My Child Get a Say in Whether They See the Other Parent?

jnflbrisbane
Jun 16
3 min read

By James Noble Law, Queensland Family Law Experts

When it comes to parenting arrangements after separation or divorce, one of the most common questions we receive at James Noble Law is: “At what age does my child get to decide whether they want to see the other parent?” This is a complex and sensitive issue that touches on the emotional wellbeing of the child, parental rights, and the legal principles guiding family law in Australia. In Queensland, as across Australia, the child’s best interests are the paramount consideration under the Family Law Act 1975 — and that includes giving appropriate weight to the views of the child.

Does a Child Have a Say in Parenting Arrangements?

Yes, children can have a say — but there is no specific age at which a child can legally decide for themselves. Instead, the court considers:

The age and maturity of the child
The child’s expressed wishes
Whether the child’s views appear to be genuinely held
The influence (if any) of coaching or pressure
The emotional and psychological impact of changing or maintaining existing arrangements

As a general guide, courts are more likely to give significant weight to a child’s views once they are around 12 years or older, particularly if they demonstrate a mature understanding of the situation. However, even younger children’s views can be taken into account depending on their individual circumstances.

Who Determines What the Child Wants?

There are a few ways a child’s views may be considered during family law proceedings:

Family Report: Prepared by a family consultant (a psychologist or social worker), this report includes interviews with the child and both parents.
Independent Children’s Lawyer (ICL): Appointed in more complex matters, the ICL represents the child’s best interests and may speak directly with the child or gather professional opinions on their views.
Child-Inclusive Mediation: In some cases, a specially trained child consultant will meet with the child and share their perspectives in a mediation setting.

Importantly, while a child’s voice is respected, it does not equate to a right to decide. The court ultimately determines what is in the child’s best interests.

Can My Teenager Refuse to See the Other Parent?

It depends. As children enter their mid to late teenage years (14+), their wishes are often given considerable weight. Practically speaking, it can be difficult to enforce contact orders with a resistant teenager, especially if they are mature and articulate their reasons clearly.

That said, a child refusing contact should not be dismissed or ignored. It may be a signal of distress, conflict, or a deeper issue requiring professional support or intervention. At James Noble Law, we strongly encourage early mediation and professional counselling where appropriate.

What Happens If One Parent Denies Access?

If a parent prevents contact without a valid reason (such as immediate safety concerns), they may be in breach of a parenting order, which can result in legal consequences. If your child is refusing contact, it’s important to seek legal advice before making any changes to your parenting arrangements.

Understanding your child’s role in parenting decisions can be difficult, particularly during times of family stress. While children do not get to “decide” outright, their voices are important and must be carefully considered in any agreement or court decision.

At James Noble Law, we are committed to resolving family matters with compassion, efficiency, and respect for all parties involved. Our experienced family lawyers in Brisbane, Toowong, Gold Coast, and Cairns can guide you through this process with clarity and care.

Book a Confidential Appointment

If you’re facing parenting issues and want to understand your options, we’re here to help. Contact James Noble Law to book a free 20-minute consultation today: Phone: 1800 662 535, Online: www.jamesnoblelaw.com.au ,

Locations:

Brisbane and Gold Coast Office: Level 10, 95 North Quay, Brisbane City QLDToowong Office: Level 3, 54 Jephson Street, Toowong QLDCairns Office: 36 Abbott Street, Cairns QLD

Let us help you achieve the best outcome for you and your children.

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For more information, please visit our website: Parenting Arrangements